Now that you’ve read the comic, we can discuss revisions [to the comic] and ideas [about the comic].
Fist thing: it is amazing how something as simple as a contraction can change a conversation. My first pass at panel one, bubble one, was, “What is the matter, friend?” Does that sound sarcastic? I think that sounds sarcastic, and!, i think that would have impacted the rest of the comic, because if you were reading it as that-character-doesn’t-really-care, then the second panel, which is supposed to be genuine [bad] advice, would be ruined. I think “, friend” creates just the right amount of “I can only be so concerned for you.”
Second thing: First panel, second bubble, the dialogue was, “…this girl, and i’m afraid if i ask, then i’ll ruin the whole thing.” I don’t think that lead into the second panel
“I’m afraid to ask for clarification!”
“So ask her to marry you!”
Third thing: Second panel, first bubble, was only, “Ask her to marry you.” I changed this, or rather, added a tag to this, because I felt like suggesting marriage was too out of the left field. Thinking on it now, though, I guess it’s supposed to be? I’m hoping that little tag (then you’ll know for sure) doesn’t detract, but, if it does detract, there’s almost no way to know that it did. Alas, communication.
What I know about punch lines is that you’re supposed to end on the funny thing, and you’re supposed to arrive at that funny thing in as few words as is possible, so I guess the optimal thing to have had written in that bubble would have been, “Ask her to you marry.”