Speaking strictly for myself, and not the strapping young man dressed in grey featured in this comic, I’ve never much understood health. Nor have I, until lately, had much interest in it. People have told me that health is amazing, but, well, I don’t know, maybe it is? I have no frame of reference. Nothing to compare this unhealth to. Being unhealthy is a lot like having the flu, I think. That is to say that, while you have it, the idea of life without it is not an idea one has.

So how does one go about understanding health? By acquiring it, and studying it. So how does one go about acquiring health? I have observed the most common actions, and it suggests that we: Wake up when we don’t want to; Eat things we don’t want to eat; Drink drinks we don’t want to imbibe; Lift heavy objects unendingly; And run in circles to the point of exhaustion. On second thought, fuck health.

But wait, there’s another way!

Thirty minutes of walking a day, man. That’s all! Who would’ve guessed walking was so great.