I never really know what I’m doing when I fix a PC, but it always works. I like to think I fix them the same way someone used to fix things with alchemy or sorcery. What I do is is I put some things into a thing and then do a thing to make the thing into a different thing. Then I get someone to drink the thing and then they’re fine because obviously.
So what was wrong with this pc? Mountain Man’s pc specifically. Nothin’. He brought it to me because he couldn’t turn it on. The most it allowed him to do was make it make some loud angry beeping noises. It apparently enjoyed making terrible noises more than it did booting up. So we got it set up in my living room. I powered the thing on, and … it worked! It turned on no problem, and ran totally fine. Let me just say that there is no problem more difficult to solve than no problem at all. Well it was an old pc, one that hadn’t been turned on in a while (because it didnt enjoy that), so i made myself look competent by acquiring the latest windows updates and installing MSE and whatever else us alchemisorcerers do. We must have restarted the thing twenty times through all that updating, and through it all, it had no problems. Not even one. So I gave the PC back to the Mountain Man. He took it home. He tried to turn it on, and … some loud beeps followed by nothin’. Great.

Round two: We were somehow able to replicate the weird beeps and failed boot. But not initially. Initially he left the PC with me. To do with it what I could. I immediately got to it. I turned it on, and … it turned on. Welp. I ran some chkdsks and memtests, and they found no problems. His computer, it turned out, wasn’t broken after all. It was insane. Anyway, he swung by a week later to see how it was all going. I got him to try to turn it on, and … beeps! We googled the beeps. Google suggested the ram was the problem, so we slotted the ram out of one of the two slots and, … the pc turned on! So we tried the second stick of ram in slot one and, … it turned on again! So we tried ram stick 1 in ram slot 2 and, … it turned on again! So we tried ram stick 2 in ram slot 2 and, … it turned on again! So both sticks of ram were working and both ram slots were working. So we plugged both sticks of ram into both ram slots, and … it wouldnt turn on again! Uh, ok. So in a drought of ideas I swapped the ram sticks, and, … it turned on again! So now both sticks of ram are in each of the ram slots. That means the problem was nothing. Well whatever. The PC is totally fine now. I successfuly cured it from nothing. Pcs, man… Man.