I think Hollywood flipped the health paradigm on its head, and kept it a secret. I’ve been told attractive people live easier. That is, an attractive person is more likely to receive a promotion, a discount and a date than a fat person. I posit that this is not the case in Hollywood. My guess is that there exist more healthy people rushing Hollywood’s gates than there is fat (and the fat never really rush, so…). This much seems obvious. No one wants to be fat. Everyone wants to be symmetrical and fit. Ok, so there’s less competition, and less rushing, great, but there must also be less roles, on account of no one wanting to be fat, so it must even out, right? Wrong. This is where the plan really starts to make sense: The handsome hero always, always has a fat fuck friend standing at his side, making him look more attractive and never getting the girl. It might not be then, all that surprising that Hollywood has a difficult time keeping the fuck friends fat. Outside of maybe Kevin James (I probably should not have used the descriptor “fat fuck”. Despite starring in The Zookeeper Kevin James is a delightful individual). So while there may be less roles, it’s only really a matter of time until, let’s say, Jonah Hill, gets sick of this shit and slims himself down. And what’s that equal? Opportunity. There also exists a really great chance that the people you’re competing with might die of a heart attack or stroke!